Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition
by Browny Pink
Summary: Crack-fic! The Yu-gi-oh! version of the cooking show Chopped. This is a parody, not meant to be taken seariously. Please read and review. Thanks!
1. Appetizers

**Hi all! So, I know I should be working on getting Interest done, but I had this idea in my head and it wouldn't go away. That being said. This is a parody and not meant to be taken seriously. It is very crack-fic. And some of the characters are OOC.**

**If you don't like all that, then I guess you can leave. I would encourage you to stay though. **

**ENJOY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own either Yugioh or Chopped. I just thought it'd be funny to mix them.**

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**CHOPPED: Yu-gi-oh! Edition**

The camera pans down and to the left, and we see Seto Kaiba, Mai Valentine, and Marik Ishtar sitting behind a long dining table. In the front right of the dining table, Yami Muto stands with his hands clasped in front of him. He looks directly into the camera and begins to speak.

"Hello and welcome back to the Chopping Block. Today, four competitors think they have what it takes to be the next chopped champion. Let's meet them. First up, Chef Téa Gardner."

The camera cuts to a video of a tall brunette wearing a black apron over a short blue skirt and a sleeveless green button up shirt. She also wears platform shoes and a pair of white thigh-high stockings. While she speaks, the camera cuts to various shots of her daily life.

"I've never actually had any "professional" training in cooking, but I'm ambitious. And, I know I have what it takes to be the next Chopped Champion. When I was a little girl, I decided to become a professional dancer on Broadway, but my family was always poor. And, they couldn't afford to send me to dance classes. So, I got a job at Burger World. That was when I first got in to cooking. I'm not afraid of the competition, and despite my lack of cooking knowledge, I know what tastes good and what looks good. Don't count me out yet because I know I can beat the odds!" She chirps happily.

The camera cuts from a picture of Téa tasting an orange sauce to the large dining room.

With a charming smile, Yami says, "Next up is Ryou Bakura."

It's the same routine as before. Except, this time the videos are of a boy with white hair. Over a white and blue striped shirt and black pants, he is wearing the mandatory black, Chopped apron. From his neck, a gold ring with a pyramid hangs on a leather string.

In a light voice, with a distinct British accent, Ryou begins, "I am originally from England, but my da and I moved here several years ago. I've changed schools and homes more times than I care to remeber, but this has helped me in my cooking career- if you will. Everywhere we stopped, I learned something new. Since my mum died, I have been the designated cook for my family. I tend to be a bit of a bookworm. Meaning, I've read many books on cooking. My greatest strength in this competition is probably my technique. I've spent years refining it. I think I can win this contest. I'm not doubting that it will be difficult, but I've definatly got a shot."

Back in the dining room, Yami announces, "Then there's chef Joey Wheeler."

The camera cuts to a video of a dirty-blonde haired man wearing a white t-shirt and jeans with the black apron on top. Strutting down the street he is shown on, a goofy grin spreads across his face as he puffs his chest out.

Confident, and with a Brooklyn accent, he explains, " I'm a force ta be reckoned with. Me and my baby sista have been to hell and back; we can handle anyting life's got ta throw at us. I love food. More than anyting else in life, I love food. I don't got a lotta experience in ta kitchen, but I can make things taste good." He pauses to give a hearty chuckle and then continues, "I've had more than enough food ta know how ta make it. So, all you other guys better watch out! Cause I'm gonna be the next chopped champion! Alright!"

Once again in the dining room, Yami finishes, "And, last but certaintly not least, Maximillion Pegasus."

The camera cuts to our final contestant: An older -though he still looks quite youthful- man with silver hair that falls just below his shoulders. He wears a red suit under his black apron. In the majority of his video he is sipping wine.

As he speaks, he giggles in a significantly emasculating way as if he needed to be further emasculated, "Oh, me? I am a man of .. refined tastes. After I made my fortune, I traveled the world. I've tasted some of the most erotic foods known to man. Why do I want to win Chopped? Simply because it's something to work for. When you have everything you want, life becomes quite dull. Mhm, yes, I'm certain I have the skills needed to crush my competition."

Cutting back to the dining room, this time the camera is panned futher back. We see the four competitors standing behind metal counters with four baskets on top. Behind the competitors are four stoves and ovens. Téa stands with one hand on her hip as she sizes up the competition. Next to her, Ryou looks about anxiously, a nervous smile playing on his lips. Joey attempts to peek in his basket , but Yami runs over and swats his hand away while Pegasus giggles at their antics.

In the background, our three judges sit looking completely indifferent for the most part. Seto is glaring at Joey while Mai studies her freshly painted finger nails. Marik slouches over the table, his chin propped up in his hand.

As a slightly flustered Yami makes his way back to his normal spot, the competitors snap to attention.

Clearing his throat, Yami explains the conditions of the competition, and we almost laugh at the utter seriousness of his face. "There are three rounds: appetizer, entre, and desert. Each course comes with its own basket of mystery ingredients. You must use every ingredient in the basket in some way. Also, avaidible to you are our pantry and fridge. When the clock runs out, our judges will critique you on presentation, taste, and also creativity. However, if your dish doesn't cut it, you will be chopped."Yami pauses, waiting for them to laugh at his play on words, but no one does.

In fact, Joey could be heard muttering, "That's a harsh way ta put it."

Shaking off the lack of positive response, Yami continues with only a trace of embarrusment in his tone, 'Ehem, chefs, please open your baskets. And, let's see what our mystery ingredients are."

Joey visibly shakes as he bellows, "Ah, I can't look; it's too horrible!" The other competitors roll their eyes as he covers his own and blindly gropes for his basket, managing to knock several different spice jars to the floor. No one moves to pick it up, and the others open their baskets.

An orange screen that will show the list of ingredients pops up, covering half the screen as we try to watch the contestants reactions.

As they pullout the ingredients, Yami is kind enough to call them out for those of us who are not well endowed in cooking knowledge, "We have sea scallops, Guaje beans-"

The camera cuts in mid sentence to a interview shot of Téa.

Bewilderment an anxiousness shows on her face. With her hands raised in a shrug, she questions, "What are those beans? I've never even heard of them before. Two ingredients in, and I have no idea what i'm going to do."

Now, we cut back to the orange screen, and Yami continues his sentence," -aged cheddar, and pickle juice. The twenty minute appetizer round starts now."

A timer appears at the bottom of the screen, all competitors reach out and grab one of their ingredients.

While we watch them cook, we hear Ryou's voice, "I'm pretty good at cooking. My friends and family always say I should participate in a cooking contest, so now, I am definatly putting my skills to the test. I see the scallops, and I think, okay this I can deal with. Although I don't eat them very often, I do know they taste well when fried. So, I grab a skillet, toss in the scallops, and at the last second, I think to add the pickle juice. It will give the scallops a nice sour taste. I let that cook for a bit and pull out the Guaje beans. Honestly, I'm not sure I've had the chance to try these, but they remind me of lima beans, and I pull out a pot and boil some water. I'm going the give the judges the sour fried scallops and a bean salad with a pickle juice vinegrette."

Music plays as the screen cuts to the timer showing that two minutes have passed. Then it cuts to Téa, who is mincing her aged cheddar.

As she dispense the chopped cheddar into neat piles on a baking sheet, she explains, " I need to stand out, so I decide to take the cheese and bake it by itself. I don't know all the technical terms for it, but I've had it made this way before. And it tasted pretty good. So, I pop them in the oven. Then I go back to my scallops. I want to grill them. I add some salt, pepper, and put a skillet with butter on the grill. I'm not sure about the beans, so I taste one. It has a bitter taste somewhat like spinich. Then I get this idea to make it and the pickle juice into a sauce. I toss the beans into a processor and pull out a small pot. I toss the bean juice, some pickle juice, butter, cream, and a little chilly powder into the pot and let that simmer. I need to be creative, and just show my style. I think the judges will like it."

Next, we cut over to Pegasus, who is mixing the pickle juice in with the beans, takes his turn to speak. He sounds completely at ease, his tone carefree, "Sea scallops? I'm not worried. I've had them many times. I'm going to sear them, and serve them with a pickled bean mash. Then, with the aged cheddar, I can make a garlic, cheddar queso sauce. These kids have no idea what they are in for."

The timer shows we are down to fifteen minutes. And, we pan over to Joey who is running over to the pantry to get some extra ingredients.

As we watch, he gives his story, "I'm glad I get to be on ta show. When I was a kid and my parents got divorced, food was the only thing that saved me. Well, that and ma sister Serenity. Anyways, gawd, these are some crazy ingredients for the first round. I realize i'm in a little over my head with all dis stuff. But, I ain't goin down without a fight. So I grab the scallops. Everybody likes fried seafood. I don't care who you are. I think I just need to spice it up, right? Then I grab the bean and shread them. I mean, why not? I add those to the scallops, throw in some butter, salt, and ginger, and just let it cook. Next, I go back and get my pickle juice. I'm not really sure what to do with it, so I run over to da fridge and pull out a head of lettuce, some carrots, a cucumber, and an onion. I'm going to make a salad with a pickle juice and vinegar dressing and shreaded cheddar on top."

We leave the contestants to their cooking, and go over to the judges table. Slumped over with his forearms on the table, Yami finally introduces us to our judges, " And, our judges are: Seto Kaiba, the man with only part of a heart," A bubble pops up below him, letting us know he is the CEO of Kaiba Corp_. _ "Mai Valentine, the only woman with a size G bra," Expert duelist and finalist at Duelist Kingdom. "And Marik Ishtar, a supposedly reformed villain." Tomb keeper, leader of the Rare Hunters, and holder of the Millinium Rod.

The three judges glare at an oblivious Yami.

Carefree, he continues, " I think, personnally, that this is a very difficult basket."

Seto and Mai persist their glares at Yami, but Marik is willing to shake it off and speak, "I think that the Gauje Beans are posing the biggest challenge for our competitors." Folding his hands into his lap, he explains, " I've had them before, and they taste similar to a lima bean, though the pods have a more wheaty, tough texture. They use it in alot of Mexican dishes."

Now, we go back to our chefs. Currently, Ryou is pulling his pot of boiled beans off the stove. In a murmur, he says, "I pull the beans off the heat, and it makes me happy to see that some of the beans are already falling out of their pods. That means I won't need to use the pods."

The camera cuts away from Ryou, who is happily popping the beans out of their pods, and over to Téa. Spatula in one hand, she pours a bottle of yellow liquid into her sauce pan, "I go over and taste my sauce. Not bad. Though, I feel like it's missing something, so I add in a few tablespoons of olive oil. That did it."

Meanwhile over at the judges table, we see Seto pointing over towards Téa. " Téa is using olive oil in her sauce. That's pretty smart. That olive oil will pull all those flavors together and make it a wonderful sauce."

"You're right. That was a smart move."Yami agrees, a wistful smile playing on his face.

Glaring, Seto growls, " Snap out of it, dweeb!"

A blush creeping over his cheeks, Yami apoligizes, "Right, sorry."

We cut to Téa in an interview room, where She pumps her fist, laughing, "I'm pumped up! I feel like my dish is going to really wow the judges."

We return to the kitchen, and Yami informs our competitors, "Chefs, you're down to ten minutes!"

The chefs continue cooking with renewed vigor, scrambling about the kitch like ants at a picnic. All except Pegasus.

Nonchalant, he shrugs off the pressure of the competition, "Sure, there are only ten minutes left, but why should I worry. My scallops are coming along nicely. And, I add a little lemon grass to the dish. My bean mash is perfect. It came out how I like, so I put it in the blast chiller to cool."

Unbeknownst to us, the editors have decided that five minutes of the show were somewhat boring, and the cut it out. So, Yami barks out, " Five minutes!"

The chefs add the last of their ingredients to their dishes.

Joey minces various ingredients and tosses them into a small pile next to the scallops, paying little attention to presentation, " So, I'm doin better dan I thought I would. The scallops are done, so I take em' and put one on each plate. Then I spread a little of the juices I fried it in to the top. So, now I start tossin together my salad."

Over with Téa, she pulls out a burnt... anonimity from the oven. She throws her arms up in the air and mouths 'Why God?' She explains what happened, " So, I pull my cheese out of the oven, and it's burnt. That's not good. There's nothing I can do about it now, so I distribute a little bit to each plate."

The camera pans over to the judges. Mai pinches her nose shut and waves away the air in front of her face, "I don't know what it is, but I smell something funky coming from over there."

"I think it's Téa's cheese." Seto reasons, pointing out the frustrated chef.

"That doesn't look good." Mai frowns.

We close back in on the chefs where Ryou is checking over his beans. Quietly, he tells us, "Things are going right well with my dish. My scallops are done and looking quite delectable. Then I go over to my beans... They're undercooked. I don't have much time so I turn up the heat and hope they get done soon."

Now, we go see Pegasus, who is frowning. His lip jutted out, he appears to be pouting. " I don't understand. My dish was going so well! The bean mash is alright, but I went over to my scallops to find them burnt with bits of the lemon grass stuck to them. This is simply unfabulous!"

Sending the contestants into a frenzy, Yami bellows, " Thirty seconds!"

They each plate and add the finishing touches to their dishes.

Yami counts down, " 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. Time's up. Please step back."

All contestants raise their hands in surrender and drop what they are doing. Joey accidentally drops a spoon full of scallop sauce on the floor, resulting in the concoction splattering his and Pegasus' legs. Despite messing up her cheese, Téa is smiling. Ryou sighs releavedly. And Pegasus is still frowning, apparently still upset about his scallops. Joey's eyes widen as they fall on his plates.

In the interview room, Joey is waving his arms about, panicing, Crap! I forgot ta put some dressin on one of the salads."

In his interview, Ryou sits quietly with his hands folded neatly on his lap, " It was tough, but I, at least, managed to get everything on the plate."

"Just glad it turned out mostly alright." Téa explains.

Pegasus is still pouting, " I still can't believe I burnt those scallops! Oh, I'm chopped for sure!"

We cut back to the main room. The four chefs walk in a single-file line with their hands clasped behind their backs to stand infront of the judges table. Although Seto is still glaring at Joey, Mai winks at the blonde. Marik appears to pay little attention to any of them.

Voice suave, Yami informs them, "Chefs, this is the chopping block. Your appetizers had to include: scallops, Guaje beans, aged cheddar, and pickle juice." With a wave, he gestures to Ryou, " Chef Ryou?"

The camera cuts to a picture of Ryou's dish. A small green salad with brown beans sits on one side of the plate, and a small scallop takes up the other side. "I prepared for you a pickle-fried sea scallop, and a Guaje bean salad with a pickle juice vinegrette. And, I sprinkled the aged cheddar on top."

The judges take their time picking at the miniscule amout of food provided.

Marik takes the initiative and speaks first, " I think that this is a beautiful dish."

Bowing humbly, Ryou says, " Thank you."

Marik continues, "The grill marks," he makes an 'okay' gesture with his hand, "perfect."

Swallowing a bite of her fried scallop, Mai adds, "It tastes pretty good too."

Ryou thanks them again.

Sighing, Mai continues, " However," she looks to the other two judges, " I don't know about them, but my beans were a little undercooked."

Seto jumps in, "It's good that you mentioned that because I was just about to say that mine were not cooked very well."

Shaking his head, Marik gives his opinion, "See, I disagree. They were undercooked yes, but I honestly thought that might've been what he was going for. It added a little bit of crunch, and I liked that."

"The salad itself is crispy enough without the beans though." Seto retorts.

Marik holds his hands up, saying, "Alright, I'll give you that."

Mai returns their attention back to Ryou, "It's not bad. Just a little bit undercooked." she makes the 'tiny' sign with her fingers.

Steppign back, Ryou says, "Of course. My apologies."

The judges- all but Seto- nod appreciatively.

Clearing his throat, Yami calls out, " Next, Chef Téa." He smiles at her, and she winks back.

Seto coughs loudly.

Téa shakes her head, "Right, sorry." The camera cuts to a picture of Téa's dish. "Well, I have prepared for you grilled scallops with pickle juice, cream sauce and crisp of baked cheese-"

Pegasus interrupts her, "That would be a frico, my dear."

Téa glares at him and grits her teeth, but continues speaking while the judges eat, "Yes, a frico."

Suprisingly, Seto is the first to speak, "I have to say, your style really comes out on the plate. Excellent. The sauce is also good, but I'm having trouble getting through this frico. It's burnt and frankly disgusting."

Téa frowns and bows her head, "I know, and I'm sorry for that. I just looked up and they were burning."

Mai tries to soothe her, "It's not that bad, hun." She glares at Seto who shrugs in response. Téa looks up, hopeful_. "_ I won't lie and say it's good. But, it's not as bad as Seto made it out to be."

Marik added in his opinion, "I agree with Mai about the cheese. It's stomachable, but not preferable. However, I love what you did with your scallops, I think they are the best ones we've eaten thus far." The others nod. The camera cuts over to Ryou, and we see a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Gracefully, Téa steps back, "Thank you."

Yami gestures to Joey with a wave, " Chef Joey?"

Joey steps forward, and the camera cuts to his dish. Only embarrusing himself, Joey puffs out his chest and begins, " Okay! Here's your winning dish. Today, I made ya some scallops with a Gauje bean and butter sauce and a salad with pickle vinegrette dressing and a cheddar cheese crumble."

Unhesitatingly, Seto intones, "You didn't put any dressing on my salad."

Visible deflating, Joey whines, "You would get that one, wouldn't ya Kaiba? No, i'm sorry about dat. I realized it at the last second. Again, my apologies."

Holding a bite of salad on her fork, Mai looks over to Seto and tells him, "That's too bad, Seto, because the dressing is very good."

With a nod of his head, Marik agrees, "Yes, the entire dish tastes very good although your presentation is a little sloppy."

Joey scratches his head, but nods. It cuts to his interview room. "Who cares about the way it looks? So long as it tastes good."

Back in the dining room, Yami dismisses him, "Thank you, Joey. Lastly, Chef Pegasus, what do you have for us?"

Pegasus steps forward, and we note a slight sway in his hips as he walks. "Well, for you all, I've made pan seared scallops with a pickled bean mash and cheddar queso." The camera cuts to his dish while the judges eat.

First, Mai states, "The queso and bean mash are very good in my opinion."

Marik frowns and shakes his head, " I disagree; the sourness from the pickled beans doesn't really mix well with the cheese. I wish you would've encorperated the pickle juice in some other way. Maybe with the scallops?"

Before Pegasus can answer, Seto breaks in, " And therein lies my problem with this dish- the scallops. You burnt them."

"Well, yes. I don't know how it happened to be honest." He informs them.

Giving a hum of agreement, Mai says, " I agree with Seto- as strange as that is -the scallops were very burnt and a little difficult to get down."

Yami clasps his hands behind his back and says, "Thank you, chef Pegasus." He turns to the other competitors, " Please take a few minutes. We'll call you back when we've decided. Thank you."

The contestants all make their way out of the room. And the camera cuts to the little waiting room, where the chefs sit discussing various things about their dish and competiton in general.

Téa states what most of them with the exclusion of Pegasus were thinking, "Those beans, man. They just through me completely of course. Then on top of that I burnt my cheese." She pauses for a moment, "frico."

After a brief silence, Joey breaks in, "I'm gettin chopped."

Téa looks dumbfounded, and she scolds him, "What? Don't say that! You're not."

"Oh, yes I am. I forgot the dressing on Kaiba's salad. He hated it." Joey retorts.

Lightening the mood, Ryou says, " Kaiba hates everything you do though."

All three begin laughing. Pegasus remains silent though he looks smug. The camera cuts back to the judges and Yami, who begins to speak, " Okay, so now that you've had your fill. It's time to talk it out."

Marik starts off the discussion, "When I think about Téa's dish, I think about her sauce. It was very good."

Nodding, Mai adds, " She got her scallops done too. I like the seasoning."

Always pointing out the negative, Seto throws in, " But, she messed up big with her frico. It was burnt."

Shruggin, Mai agrees, " Yeah, she definately freaked up her frico." Mai, Marik, and Yami laugh. Even Seto cracks a smile. She continues, " Now, I though Joey's dish was really good."

Emotionlessly, Seto says, " I didn't get any dressing on my salad."

Marik speaks up, "To restate what Mai said earlier: that's to bad because it was a really good dressing. The salad had cucumber in it, and that sortof took on the flavor of the pickle juick. It was like eating a pickle."

With raised eyebrows, and over the top enthusiasm, Yami inquires, "What about his scallops?"

Mai shrugs, " I thought they were done well."

Begrudgingly, Seto concedes, "Yeah, I'll admit that they were alright."

Changing the subject, Marik says, " I personnally liked the way Ryou cooked his."

Mai nods, " I'll give you that. They were very good. But his beans were really crunchy. It was like eating marbles."

"I definately didn't like the salad, but his scallops were good." Seto gives his opinion, folding his hands under his nose.

Marik rolls his eyes, "I still disagree with both of you about the salad. I liked the crunch. It reminds me of a few dishes from my country. Maybe it's just an Egyptian thing."

Yami decides to bring up the final contestant before the lull in the conversation becomes too much, and the viewers leave. " And how did Pegasus do?"

Seto begins, "The bean mash was pretty good. I agree with what Malik said though. I didn't like the way the flavors mixed with the queso, and also the scallops. They were burnt to a crisp."

Weighing the pros and cons, Mai tilts her head back and forth, "I liked the flavors. I thought that the sourness complemented the cheese nicely. But, I do agree about the scallops. They were way overcooked."

Marik raises his hands, " I've already made my opinion on this dish clear. However, I thought that Pegasus had the best presentation."

Quickly, Seto threw a glance at Yami, "I think we have our decision."

Yami agrees, " Yes we do."

All four of the contestants are brought back in. They stand, figeting nervously under the scrutiny of the judges. The camera briefly cuts to Joey. "I think I'm gettin chopped. I don't wanna be, but I'm just being realistic."

Now we cut to Téa, " No one wants to be the first chef to go. You just don't want to be that chef!"

The camera hurridly cuts to varying shots of the competitors.

With an air of mystery, Yami asks, " Whose dish is on the chopping block?" Just as he is about to open it he freezes.

"What are you doing? Open it." Seto demands.

Yami looks at him with wide doe eyes. " It's time for a comercial break. We have to do this to irratate our spectators before we reveal every dish."

Seto scoffs, "Just get on with it. I don't have all day."

Deflating, Yami concedes, " Fine. Whatever."

He pulls off the lid and reveals Pegasus' dish.

Voice full of mock sympathy, Mai states the obvious, " Chef Pegasus, you've been chopped."

Seto opts to futher explain, " You burned the scallops, and we didn't like the way the flavors came together. And for these reasons, we had to chop you."

Attempting to soothe the sting a little, Marik adds, " However, we did want to let you know that you had the best presentation of your dish tonight."

Pegasus flounders, " I can't believe it! I though I would atleast make it to the second round."

Yami apoligizes, "We're sorry."

Anger flashing through his eyes, he breaks in, " No, I don't need your sympathy. I'm Maximillion Pegasus."

He flips his hair over his shoulder and storms out of the room. The camera cuts to the hallway where he is walking out. " Am I disapointed I got chopped? Of course. But in the end it honestly doesn't matter. I do disagree with them though." He stalks off screen, and we don't see him any more.

**After a quick commercial break, we'll move on to our second round- the entrees.**

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

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**So, there is part one. The next part should be out tomorrow though I make no promises. Regardless, I plan on finishing this very soon. I hoped you all liked it. **

**TELL ME! Was it good? Bad? So stupid you couldn't stand it? I hate the author and hope she burns? I love writing and want to get better at it, so tell me what I can improve.**

**Please REVIEW!**

**Thank you all for reading :)**

**ONWARD!**

**-Alyssa**


	2. Entrees

**Alrighty! So, here we are with chapter two! Told ya, I'd get it out quickly!**

**ENJOY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yugioh! Obviously, I don't this is completely unnecessary, but what ever...**

**Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition: Chapter Two: Entrees**

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_Previously on Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition... _

_When we last left our chefs, Pegasus had just been cut from the show. Now we are about to move on to the entree round._

_And, now back to the show._

All three of our remaining competitors are watching the door that Pegasus just exited. His tirade seems to have left them speechless.

Seto is the first to break the silence, "That could've gone better."

Mai raises her brow at him and asks, "Honestly, did you expect it to? The man was more horomonal than a woman during her special time of the month."

All the males in the room grimace, and another awkward silence grips the room. Yami coughs and attempts to bring things back on track, "Well, I suppose we should move on to the next round." He gestures back towards the kitchen. "Chefs, shall we?"

The camera cuts to the kitchen where the contestants are already back at their stations. Apparently, during the break, a clean up crew has come through because not only is the mess Joey made gone, but their are brand new baskets sitting on the gleaming stainless steel counters. Téa eyes hers wearily while Ryou pretends to ignore his. However, we see him glance at it from the corner of his eyes. Joey does not bother to hide his lack of intrest and pokes at it. Crossing his arms, Yami glares at Joey, but does not move to stop him as he is not opening the basket, and therefore, not technically breaking any rules.

Pointedly looking at Joey, Yami implores, "Chefs please open your baskets." All four chefs carefully reach forward to open them. Joey, having gained a confidence boost for surviving into the second round, keeps his eyes open this time. Ryou is the first to pull out an ingredient. Yami continues, "And you must use... Blue Foot Chicken, broccolini, tequila, and dried limes."

The camera zooms in on Téa's face as we hear her voice coming out of nowhere. "I've heard of Blue Foot Chicken. I'm not really sure what's so special about it other than the blue feet."

We cut back to a full view of the kitchen as Yami announces, "Thirty minutes on the clock. Your time starts now."

The chefs all pull out their ingredients while Joey talks, "I opened my Blue Foot Chicken and look at it. It's just a regular chicken! Well, it's got all da feet and gizards and head on it, but ah, I can work with it. So, I grabbed a big sharp knife and cut off the feet and the head. I'm gonna grill it in butter while it's still on the bone. I know I wanna make a sauce using da chicken bones and the head. I'm confident in my cooking, and if you're confident in your cooking, it's gonna turn out really good. This competition is gonna make my reputation. Téa, she's got her dancin to fall back on. I'm not sure about Ryou... But, food is all I got." He pauses for a moment. "Well, that and Serenity."

We cut to his interview where he is waving at the camera. "Hiya sis! I hope ya watchin cause your big brother's gonna do you proud!"

Now, we finally get back to our other contestants. Téa is also removing the feet from her chicken.

She gives us her opinions, "Joey kind of gets under my skin. He's a great guy- usually- but his cockiness just irratates me. Yeah, we get it. You think you're great. Do you have to tell the rest of us? Anywho, I cut into my chicken, and I start to realize that it's not a regular chicken. There's not as much fat; it's a little bit tougher. So, to keep that mosture, I decide to make a stew. I add some onions, mushrooms,the broccolini, and chicken broth. Then, I run over to the pantry and pull out some rice and crimson lentils to add to the stew. I turn up the heat and let it simmer."

Over with Ryou, he pulls out his chicken, but before we see what he does with it, the camera cuts away to his interview room. "Many times in my life, I've been told that I was not good enough. I grew up with my Dad. And, because we moved often due to.. Personnal issues, I never made many friends. So, I needed to be in this competition, so I can prove to myself and everyone else that I am good enough."

The camera returns to shots of him cooking and preparing food. "I think that I've done rather well so far in this competition. I chose to do my Blue Foot Chicken in two ways. I de-bone the legs and thighs, and I start roasting them in a hot pan with carrots, onions, and celery. And, I know I want to poach my chicken breast, but I don't want to waste the bones of the chicken. So, I throw them in a pan to make into a sauce. Joey and Téa, they are very tough competition, but I think I'm holding my own. And, I'm proud of that."

Always a treat, we cut over to the judges to get a glimps of what they are thinking. Marik, Mai, and Seto glance curiously about the room. As Yami speaks, they focus their attention on him. "Blue Foot Chicken? What even is that?"

Mai, having traveled most of the world, answers, "I believe it was originally from france" She looks to the other two judges for conformation, but recieves none. "well I think that's where. But, I do know that they are older chickens, they're a bit tougher, a little less fatty, but besides that, I don't think that there are any real differences between those and regular chickens."

Suprising the others, Marik adds, "They're usually served with the feet on." The others look at him in shock. "What? I know a few things." Coughing, he continues on with his knowledge of the bird. "It's alot like duck."

Shaking off his suprise, Yami pushes on, "Now, these dried limes... I don't know alot about them."

"It's used extensively in Middle Eastern cooking. What they do is boil really small limes and then sun-dry them until they become black. It almost has a citrus flavor, but it also has that fermented flavor." Marik fills them in. Again they are all shocked from his knowledge. Marik doesn't bother to alleviate they curiosity.

Seto coughs, "Well, I think that if they use them right, they could add a nice tang to the dish."

The camera cuts to Téa who is pouring the bottle of tequila into a bowl of dried limes. She speaks, "I want to hydrate these dried limes. I add a little tequila and think, 'What else can I add?' I add some ginger and basil. The lime has a very potent flavor, so I want to turn it into some kind of condiment. I threw it in a proccessor and tasted it. It tastes good, strong. I think that it's really going to bring this dish together."

Yami shouts out, "Just under fifteen minutes to go, chefs."

They all look around at the apparent skip in time, but then realize that they are wasting what little time that's left. So, they get to work with renewed vigor. Cutting away from the others, the camera shows Joey, who is cutting open his bag of dried limes with a knife that is far larger than necessary. "These limes... Woah, they are strong! I gotta be careful with em'. I get da feeling they're really easy to over use. I crushed one of the limes with my knife and add it to the chicken bone sauce. I'm not sure where I'm really goin with this, but I learned long ago to trust my gut. Next, I add some of dat tequila. Mmm! This is gonna be good.

"I begin to boil a pot of water and throw in the brocolini. I add some carrots, onion, and garlic to that. Then, just let it simmer. After a bit, I pull em' off the stove, strain em', and then throw it onto a skillet. I add salt and velveta with a little butter and milk. I always like my broccoli smothered in cheese, and I figure this brocolini is basically the same ting."

Away from Joey's smiling face, the camera cuts to Ryou. Right now, he huffs a frusterated sigh and runs a hand through his long white hair. "I'm very nervous in this round... This competition is right terrifying." The camera shows Ryou hustling over to the pantry to grab a few extra food items.

Ryou continues speaking, "But, I've come to terms with the fact that I need to just do it. I need to be confident in myself. I needed a starch for my dish, and I love lentils. I think they'll be great with my chicken. I poach the chicken breast in tequila and butter. With my broccoli, I'm going to take the safe route. I'm going to steam it and douse it in butter."

We flash over to the judges. Mai is applying a fresh layer of makeup while Seto talks on the phone with his secretary. Marik is the only one paying any attention in the slightest besides Yami, whose eyes are glued to Téa.

Yami chirps happily, " Alright chefs, five minutes!"

The chefs scramble around, adding a few more ingredients to their dishes. Nimbly, Ryou pulls out the roasted chicken and carrots. Then, he starts placing them on the plates. For added color and decoration, he adds a splash of dijon mustard to the plate. Finally, he returns to his other dishes. Meanwhile, Téa dobs a spoonful of her condiment onto the sides of her plate and places a slice of lime next to it. Joey removes the skillet of cheesy broccoli off the heat and dips it on to his plates, makeing several neat piles.

Joey explains, "During the last round, the judges really got onto me about my presentation. Honestly, I don't see the point, but I plan ta win this competition. So, I gotta do what they say. And, this time I'll make sure they all get the ingredients. I can't believe I forgot ta put that dressin on one of the salads last round, and Kaiba of all people got it, like that jerk needs another reason ta hate me. This time I'm gonna reallly pull my stuff tagether."

Over with the judges, Mai and Seto begin to pay a little attention to the chefs. Mainly because they have finished their corresponding tasks. They discuss what they see Joey doing.

Uneasily, Mai states, "I'm not all that sure about cheese sauce on the broccoli. I like it alright, but it's not all that creative."

Seto hums in aggrement, saying, "No, it's not, but I think that he's more inclined to go for flavor above either creativity or presentation."

"Unfortunatly, I think your right." She concedes.

With a melodramatic flair, Yami asks, "Will this cost him any points in the competition, you think?"

Ignoring it, Seto answers, "Certaintly. The dishes aren't just about taste, though that is a big part of it. They need to be fresh, and creative, and presented well."

Yami cooly retorts, "But, chef Joey does look like he's trying to focus a little more on the presentation of his dish."

Mai noddes warmly. She agrees, "Yes. It's good to see that he's taking our suggestions."

After remaining silent the whole time, Marik finally speaks up, "I agree. That's always nice to see in a competitor."

We cut away to Téa who is cutting up chives. She keeps glancing over at Joey. "Wow, I see Joey, and he looks really confident. I know he's just got a big head, but it does make you worry. What if he does do a better job? No, I can't afford to think like that. He's just being the idiot I've always known. A loveable idiot, mind you. But an idiot none the less." She laughs. "I do think Ryou will prove to be a tough competitor. Out of all of us, he's shown to have the greatest grasp on knowledge of food. I don't know. Wow, these guys are really serious... At least, Ryou is. But, Then again, Joey does know his food... I don't know honestly. This whole thing is too serious."

The camera pans over to Ryou. His eyes widen as he pulls out the bag of dried limes. "I realize that I have not even thought of the dried limes, so I decide to add it to my chicken sauce. There's not alot of time left, so I drop them in and hope for the best. This almost seems like a repeat of the first round. Though if worse comes to worse, I can just add some lime shavings to the top of my chicken breast and leave the sauce off."

Back with Téa, we see her tasting her stew. " So, I go and check my taste my lentils. They're not done. I add more chicken broth and turn up the heat because they need to be done."

They all look up when Yami speaks, "Chefs, you all have two minutes. Two minute warning."

As our contestants scramble around, Mai asses the situation, "These guys need to pull themselves together and start plating, and what's going on with Ryou? Why is he frowning like that?"

The camera cuts over to Ryou's face to confirm that he is indeed frowning. As he stirs his pan of lentils, he speaks, I taste the lentils, and they aren't done. That's not good at all. I really need them to be done. The judges won't accept undercooked food twice."

With a flourish of dramatic music, the camera cuts over to Joey who is pulling his grilled chicken off the grill. "I pull the chicken off the grill, and I wanna get it off the bones. Unfortunatly, I don't got time for that sorta thing."

Yami suprises us all, we he bellows, "Thirty seconds chefs!"

Shocked they all squawk, "What?!"

Shaking his fist in the air, Joey curses his luck, "Damn those time skips! They're ruinin everything!"

The chefs all scramble with plating their food. They all appear to have done a good job so far. Joey digs his fingers into the scalding hot chicken because he lacks the time to properly cut it. Téa ladles out her stew into small cups. And, Ryou arranges the chicken and lentils on his plate.

Yami begins the count down. " 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. Times up. Please step back."

Hands high, all four chefs comply. This time, Joey manages to avoid spilling anything. He claps his hands, smiling. Téa huffs a relieved sigh, and Ryou laughs unsteadily.

We cut to an interview room with Joey. "I'm happy with the way da dish looks. I know I'm happy with the way the dish tastes. I look over. I see piles of lentils on everyones' plates. And I wonder, 'did I miss an ingredient in the basket or somethin? What's goin on here?'" He laughs obnoxiously.

The camera goes back to the kitchen. Yami leans within view and speaks to them all, "Alright, congradulations to you all for making it this far. Now, let's see what the judges think."

Raising one hand, Joey asks, "Umm.. Can I ask a question? Why do you guys choose ingredients that nobody ever eats?"

Yami raises a brow. "What do you mean? In that last basket, you had chicken, tequila, limes, and broccoli."

Joey shakes his head and retorts, " No, we had Blue Foot Chicken, tequila, dried limes, and broccolini. You guys always choose things no one's ever heard of."

Sighing, Yami explains, "Look I don't pick the ingredients I just announce them. It shows skill if the chef can make good food out of bad ingredients."

Ever thoughtful, Ryou muses, "That makes a good deal of sense. Though, I do agree with Joey; it's a little ridiculous."

Téa nods her agreement.

Yami grounds out, "It doesn't matter. Come on."

Finally, they follow him over to the judges table. Mai smiles politely at them. Seto glares. Marik pays them little heed; he looks bored. Yami looks unfased, chirping, "Alright. Chef Téa," He gestures her forward, standing unnecessarily close. "what do you have for us?"

After clearing her throat, she begins, "For your main course, I have prepared chicken, broccolini, and lentil stew with a dried lime and tequila spread. And, I added some onions and mushrooms to add flavor to the stew."

Our judges take some time savoring the soup. Though, Marik crinkles his nose slightly as he bites into a lentil.

Allowing us to get to know our contestants, Yami requests," So tell us, chef Téa, what will you do if you win the ten-thousand dollars?"

A far off look enters her eyes, and she speaks, "Well, I've always wanted to be a dancer on Broadway, but I don't have enough money to go to Juliard School of the Arts like I want to. So, the money will be put towards that. I know it won't cover it all, but it will certaintly help."

Yami hums in sympathy, "Well, best of luck to you." Turning back to Mai, Seto, and Marik, he asks, "Judges?"

Mai pokes around her plate with a fork, "I really like what you did with the dried limes and tequila. It's very potent, but it's very good. But I think you were missing something. You needed some sort of cracker to put on there because there is nothing to really dip in the condiment."

Nodding, Téa says, "Of course. I'm sorry."

We cut to Téa in the small interview room. "I can't believe I didn't think to put anything with the condiment! I should've known. I mean what did I expect? Them to just spoon it up? Stupid!"

Back in the dining room, Marik sizes up a spoonful of lentils. "I'm sorry. It's a personnel thing, but I hate the lentils. I- they just don't .. do it for me."

Seto breaks in, "I liked them. I thought they lended their flavor well to the dish. I agree with Mai though. I didn't really know what to do with my sauce. I ended up putting it in the stew, and that was okay. But, I feel like you didn't actually mean for it to be used that way."

Téa humbly informs them, "No, that was not my original intent. Honestly, I just forgot."

Again, Mai speaks, "Going back to the stew. I really liked the broccolini in this dish. It sort of took on the flavor of the chicken. Delicious. I think overall that it's a pretty good dish."

"I agree." Seto adds.

With a wave in her direction, Yami says, "Thank you, chef Téa."

She steps back, and Yami gestures to Ryou. "Chef Ryou?"

He coughs lightly and begins. The camera cuts away to a picture of his dish. "I have made roasted chicken legs and thighs with mixed vegetables, tequila and butter poached chicken breast, with a buttery lentil sauce, and steamed broccolini."

We cut back to the judges and chefs.

With a light laugh, Yami asks, " You put lentils in your dish too?" Embarrased, Ryou smiles and hestantly nods. Yami looks over at Marik. "This must be your unlucky day!" Marik nods grimly, but eats the food anyways.

Seto is the first to dissect the dish, " I really like the chicken legs and vegetables. That was really good. I like the others, but I feel that you went a little over board with your chicken in this round. There's just so much of it."

Nodding, Mai adds, "Yes, I agree. It's all very good, but you have chicken in every part of your dish except the broccolini, which is also pretty good, if a little unimaginative."

Marik grimaces as he takes a bite of lentils and says, "Yes, the chicken is good, but I have the same problem with this dish as the last one. The lentils. I know I'm being unfair, but I just can't help it. The rest of your dish is very good. I thought your presentation was beautiful."

"Thank you." says Ryou.

Confidently, Mai says, " Above all else, you've shown us that you know your way around the kitchen."

Yami asks, "Chef Ryou, what do you plan to gain from winning this competition."

"Besides the ten-thousand?" They all laugh good-naturedly. "I plan to gain confidence, which I tend to lack." Ryou informs them.

Confused, Yami raises an eyebrow, "How do you mean?"

Ryou further explains, "Well, I've not had much real experience in the cooking world, so I'm a little unsure of myself when it comes to cooking. I know that this will boost my confidence if I win. I'm going to prove that I am good enough."

"Good enough for what?" Yami probes.

Realizing what he said, Ryou blushes, "I- it's nothing."

Yami allows the question to die, "Hmm.. very well. Thank you, Ryou. And last but not least, chef Joey."

Seto glares at Joey, but Mai smacks Seto on the back of the head. He winces, rubbing his head. Marik watches the spectacle with amusement. The screen cuts to a picture of Joey's dish. " Alright guys, here's what I got for ya this time: grilled chicken with a chicken, lime, and tequila sauce. I also got broccoli and carrots with a velveeta cheese sauce."

"Although I was hesitant at first, I like what you did with the broccolini and carrots. The cheese complements that well. It reminds me of something my mom would make." Mai says.

Begrudgingly, Seto concedes, " As much as it pains me to admit it, I enjoyed your chicken. The grilled flavors came out nicely."

Astonished, Joey states, "Wow, Kaiba, I never thought I'd see the day." Seto glares at him, and he shuts up.

"And no lentils this time." Yami adds.

Joey perks up, "Yeah! It's kinda funny actually. For a minute there, I thought I'd forgotten an ingredient."

Marik speaks up, "I really liked your dish. It was good. I'm not really sure I cared for the way that the carrots went with the cheese. Just the sweetness... It didn't mix well with the cheese."

Mai looks at Marik, "I do think you have a point there, Marik. I think it would've been better if you had just left them off the dish."

Joey frowns, but nods. "Of course."

Yami ushers him back. "Thank you, chef Joey." Joey steps back. "Alright, chefs, please leave the room while the judges make their decisions."

Our competitors walk in a single-file line out into the hallway, where they sit around the small table. Téa holds her head in her hands. Joey and Ryou look at her curiously. "Ugh, they hated my dish."

Joey attempts to comfot her, " It wasn't that bad, Téa. They liked your stew."

"Not Marik." She deadpans.

Ryou shrugs his shoulders, "Yeah, but he said he just had a problem with the lentils. He said the same about mine. He didn't say anything about the rest of your dish."

Téa smiles warmly at them. "Thanks guys."

The screen shifts to the dining room, and our judges discuss the dishes.

Yami begins, " So, this round our competitors had a little easier of a basket."

Seto nods, " Yeah, I think so too. The chicken was alot easier to work with than the scallops."

Waving dismissively, Yami asks, "Anywho, how did our contestents do?"

Mai begins, "I really liked that stew Téa made. In my opinion the flavors worked really well together."

Marik shakes his head, " I'm sorry. I just can't get around those lentils. I did like that condiment she spread on the plate."

"Yes, I really liked that, but she didn't have anything with it. It was just kind of there; I didn't know what to do with it." Seto nods.

Marik shrugs, " I dipped my chicken in it."

Agreeing, Main nods," I did too, but I wasn't sure about the taste. I wasn't crazy about it. I feel like she should've done something different with it even if it was just adding a cracker or a little pastry, something. You know what I mean?"

Marik concedes, "Yeah, definately."

Yami declares, " It seems like you guys had a bunch of lentils this round."

Marik rolls his eyes, "Tell me about it." He shakes his head.

Awkwardly, Yami continues, "Ehem, as I was saying, Chef Ryou also added lentils to his dish."

"I thought it the lentils worked better in his dish than it did in Téa's." says Seto.

Mai nods, "I like that he made them into a sauce instead of making them a big additive to the dish. The flavors mixed well without overpowering the rest of the dish."

Marik adds, " I thought he incorperated the limes better than our other two contestents."

"Ryou did well with that. I didn't say anything earlier, but I thought the limes were a little overpowering in Joey's dish." Seto states.

Mai agrees with him. "Yes, they were the dominte flavor in that dish. I loved his chicken though, and the broccoli... Yum. Reminds me of being a kid."

Marik wrinkles his nose, " I didn't like the added carrots though. It would've been much better had he simply left it broccoli and cheese."

Seto picks up on that. "The sweetness from the carrots kind of off set the saltiness from the velveeta. I didn't like it either."

Shrugging, Mai sums up, "Overall though, all three of our chefs did a good job this round. They really stepped up to the challenge."

Gravely, Yami inquires, " But, do you all know which two chefs will be moving on to the final round?"

Marik nods, "We do."

The other three chefs nod. Confused, we look at them, unable to understand their motives because they never give away their true opinions. We are fairly certain they just use eeny meeny miney mo.

Yami calls the other three chefs in. They return in the same line they left in. Briefly, the camera cuts to an interview room with Téa. "I think I passed this round. Aside from Marik, they all liked my stew. Sure, I didn't have anything to go with the sauce, but they still said they liked it. Cross your fingers."

Back in the dining room, she bites her lip. Joey melodramtically gulps, and Ryou simply waits patiently. Yami reaches for the tray with the soon-to-be chopped contestents plate on it. " Whose dish is on the chopping block?"

He is about to pause for a commercial break, but Seto interrupts, "Don't you dare!"

Raising his hands in surrender, Yami gives in, " Fine... Sheesh. Just doing my job. Trying to make this Ra-forsaken show a little more tense. I mean you all do it with your snide comments and ambigeous complements. And another thing-"

Seto barks out, " Get on with it!"

"Yes, get on with it!" Marik agrees.

Rolling his eyes, Yami huffs a sigh of frustration and removes the lid of the tray. We see Téa's dish. Yami tears up a little, but speaks through his tears. "Chef Téa, it is with great remorse that I must say, you have been chopped."

Mai explains, " Sorry hun, but there was nothing to go with the sauce. And we weren't sure the lentils really worked in the stew. So, for these reasons, we had to chop you."

She begins to cry, but desperately tries to hide it. Sniffing, she furiously rubs them away. After she pulls herself together and speaks, "I- Thank you for the oportunity to be here."

Mai adds, "It was an honor to eat your food."

Seto agrees, " You are an excellent cook, and we'll miss your sense of style and flair for the extraordinary in the final round."

Sniffling, she smiles, "Thank you."

She exits the room, but Yami chases after her. "Wait Téa! I'm coming with you!"

We cut to Téa and Yami, where they are walking hand in hand out of the building. Although she still looks dissapointed, a wan-smile graces her face. "Am I upset I got chopped? She laughes. Suprisingly, not as much as I thought I would be. I mean, I tried my hardest, and I did pretty good for someone with no formal background in this sort of thing. I had tough competition, and they just did a better job than me. That's just the way it goes, you know. There isn't anything we can do about it, and it doesn't really matter because, at the end of the day, I know I did my best. I know that my friends are here to support me, and that they are proud of me no matter what."

As she and Yami dissapear from sight, the camera cuts back to the dining room.

Seto sighs, "Great... We've lost our host." He speaks into the hidden microphone in his collar, "Rolland, bring in the replacement."

A tall brunette man with his hair spiked up strolls onto the screen. He looks very happy to be here. Joey's face shows his shock, "Tristan? What da heck are ya doin here?"

Tristan smiles, " Hello everyone!" He waves excitedly. "Thanks for the chance to be here!"

_**Don't put down that spatula! We'll be right back... After these messages **_

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**Thank you for the wonderful reviews! You guys are awesome! I'll try to have the last chapter out tomorrow.**

**Please review! They make me a better writer and extremely happy!**

**NOTE: If the wording seems a little weird, it's because the whole story was originally in script format, so I had to change it. Anyways, just thought I'd let you know ;)**

**ONWARD!**


	3. Desserts

**ALRIGHTY! So, here we are with the third and final installment of Chopped" Yu-gi-oh! Edition. It's been a fun one to write, and I hope you guys liked it. **

**I won't keep you longer than necessary. Well, more than I have already. **

**Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Still don't own it...**

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**_Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition: Chapter 3: Dessert_**

_Previously, on Chopped: Yu-gi-oh! Edition..._

_Last we left our Chefs, Chef Téa had just been chopped. Yami, in a love induced stupor, followed after her. Joey and Ryou are our only remaining contestents. Tristan is our new host. Seto still hates Joey. Mai still has an overly large chest, and Marik is still indifferent to the entire competition._

_And now, the epic conclusion..._

While Tristan stands there waving at the camera, the others look at him awkwardly. Obviously, they were not expecting this to happen. Even Seto looks suprised, leading us to believe that he had no knowlege of who Rolland was going to replace Yami with. Everyone wonders how he managed to get the job. Joey acknowledges this, "Tristan? How da heck did ya get this job? You don't got any qualifacations..."

Red faced, Tristan sputters his answer, "What? As a beautifacation member, it is my job to clean up the streets- or in this case the kitchen- and take out the trash. Chopped chefs are equal to trash. Those are my qualifacations." Everyone sweatdrops, not seeing the real qualifacations he had. And, Joey scratches his head. Tristan sighs huffily, "Look it doesn't matter. You need a host, and just because I'm a side character doesn't mean I can't speak. I mean, even Ryou is here, and he's not even a main character."

Distainfully, Ryou wrinkles his nose, " I say, I was in the show from the begining. My character was key in several of the story arcs."

Appearing genuinely confused, Joey asks, "Ryou, uhm, as much as I hate to agree with Tristan, what story arcs?"

Ryou seems to get even more frustrated, "The last one! I was the main villain."

"No, the spirit of the Millinium Ring was the main bad guy..." Tristan trails off.

Ryou frowns as his ring starts to glow. "Oh, bugger. See what you've done now."

Brighter still, the glow from the ring continues, and we see Ryou change into his darker half. Although he remains relatively the same, his hair, eyes, and body sharpen. He also seems to gain a few inches in hight. Ryou, now Bakura, smiles wickedly. The room's temperture drops at least ten degrees. In response, Mai shivers as she is scantily clad. Bakura drawls, "Were you talking about me?"

Tristan, oblivious to the obvious air of menace now in the room, answers him, "Why yes we were actually. I was disagreeing with Ryou about who was the main villain in season 5."

Joey raises an eyebrow, " So, does this mean I win? I mean if Ryou can't play do I win?"

Bakura hums thoughtfully, "No. - he says after a moment- I will duel in his place."

Joey and Tristan sweatdrop. Joey speaks up, "Erm, Bakura, we ain't dueling."

"What?!" He asks, astounded.

Joey nods, "Yeah, we're on a cooking show."

Bakura looks sceptically and looks over to Tristan, who nods in comformation. Rolling his eyes, Bakura concedes and begrudgingly agrees to cook in Ryou's place.

"Do you even know how to cook?" Tristan inquires.

" Fool. I know all that my pathetic Hikari does. Why would I not?" Bakura's ring starts to glow, and all five of the spikes point at Tristan, who in turn raises his hands.

Finally realizing the danger he's in, Tristan attempts to placate Bakura, "Woah, buddy, it was just a joke. Of course you can cook. -he coughs- Let's continue onto the final round shall we?"

Bakura only grunts, but Joey smiles excitedly. We cut to Joey's interview room. Smiling broadly, he is excited, "Wow! This competition's really heatin up! Get it? Cause we're cooking.. Anyway, gotta admit, I wasn't expectin to be cooking against Bakura. This'll be the easiest round yet! But wait... What if.. Nyeh, what if Bakura's really as good as he tinks he is?!"

Finally, we return to our competitors in the kitchen. Bakura, still wearing his menacing smirk, stands across from Joey in front of his cooking station. Joey cowers under his gaze, but straightens when he realizes they are live. Tristan stands in the middle, hands clasped in front of him, looking in between the two of them. "Chef Bakura, Chef Joey, can you honestly say you're ready to make a fantastic desert with any ingredients we have to offer?" Tristan asks.

"Bring it on!" Joey calls out. He raises a fist in triumph.

Scowling, Bakura barks out, " Of course, mortal!"

Ominously, Tristan states, "Well then, open your baskets... if you dare!" Both of them raise their eyebrows at him. Sheepishly, he ducks his head while they open their baskets. As they pull out the ingredients, Tristan announces them for the rest of us who aren't so good with identifying food items, "Alright, we have: white balsamic vinegar, chocolate covered peanuts, dried cranberries, and masa harina."

We cut to Joey's interview room again. " Chocolate covered peanuts.. Mmm.. They make me wanna grab em' and go see a movie. Sadly, I don't think the judges would look to kindly on dat.. Hmm..."

Back in the dining room, Tristan is still talking, "You'll have thirty minutes this time, beginning now."

While they both begin cooking, the camera first follows Bakura as he runs over to the pantry. We hear his voice, "Now that that fool Ryou is out of the picture. I can win us this competition. Moments ago, I sorted through his memories and learned that ten thousand dollars is on the line. There is alot I could use that money for. Of course, if that idiot Joey wins, I could always steal his winnings. It would not be to difficult."

Briefly, we wonder how they have time to record these interviews if they are supposed to be cooking, and if they do so afterwards, why do the competitors act as though they have no idea what is going to happen? However, we quickly shake this off and keep watching the show with some sense of fascination. At this point, we've been drawn in and must finish the program.

Bakura continues speaking, " I see the masa harina. Not sure what it is, but it looks like a type of flower. I choose to make a dish I'm familiar with- Baklava. It's a pastry type dish with multiple layers and honey. Traditionally, you would put pecans in it, but apparently, I need to use all of these.. mystery ingredients. They don't seem very mysterious as they've let us know what they are... Anyways, I actually don't want the chocolate from the peanuts on the dish. Yet. So, I chop them up and separate the chocolate as best as I can. The baklava takes about fifty minutes to cook, but I don't have that kind of time, so I turn the heat up extra high as I mix my dough."

Finally, we hear what Joey is thinking, "All these years I've trusted ma fate to da heart of the cards. No matter what! Now, it's pretty much da same thing. Just, ya know, switch cards with... Eh, cooking? Yeah, I think cooking fits best. Right of da bat, I gotta plan. Imma make a type of cake with that floury stuff. What was it called? Masarinia? Anyways, I measure out da flour-stuff, some sugar, and eggs and pour em into the mixer. Then I add a little cream, to make a sort of dough. Ryou's a nice guy. I woulda felt bad beatin his butt, but Bakura.. Na-uh! He's the only thing sittin between me and ten grand. I'm not gonna let him stop me! Yeah!"

We leave off with him kneading his blob of white dough and go over to the judges table to see where they stand.

Tristan begins, "So, judges. Masa harina. A type of flour right?" He looks at a bag of it. " Oh look it says right here on the bag. It's a corn flour."

Marik muses, " It's actually a really difficult flour to work with because it has hardly any gluten in it, so baking with it is always a problem."

The others are all used to Marik's suprising knowledge of cooking, but seeing as it is his first round here, Tristan is dumb founded, " Wow, Marik, where'd you learn so much about cooking?"

Huffily, Marik sighs, " Does it really suprise you all so much to learn that I know something?"

"We'll you did grow up in a cave..." Tristan trails off.

Marik glares at him, and the camera cuts over to Bakura, " My dish is going just as I wanted it to go! I've got it all layered buttered, so I put it in the oven. Now, I begin to think of what I am able to do with my left over ingredients. Namely, the vinegar and the cranberries. I think I'll add the cranberries to my suace for the baklava, but I'm unsure about what to do with the vinegar. Who the hell puts vinegar in a dessert basket?!"

Suddenly, Tristan cuts him off, " Fifteen minutes left!"

Bakura is utterly shocked. "The hell?!"

"Bakura, it's a time skip. Just ignore it and keep moving on. There's nothing we can do about it, believe me I tried." Joey explains.

As Bakura regains his composure, Joey bustles about his side of the kitchen, cutting out circles in the dough and placing them on a pan, "I look over at Bakura. He's already got his composure back. It's a little scary honestly. He's calm and collected and everything like dat, but I still think I'm a better chef dan dis guy. Anywho, the vinegar and the cranberries seemed to go together ta me, so I toss em' in a pan with a little sugar. I'm gonna use it as a fruit filling for my cakes, so I throw in some blueberries and let them cook down a little bit."

We see Bakura peeking into the oven, and he begins speaking, " Okay, I've checked on my Baklava. It's coming along nicely; it's already browning up. So, I start on my sauce. I boil the sugar and water, then add the chocolate from the peanuts, some honey, the cranberries. And, although it isn't exactly standard, I add the vinegar as well. I needed to have it in there so it is. To compensate, I added some lemon zest and juice. This will help give it a more acidic taste. Plus, lemon always goes well with honey."

Over with Joey, we see him frown after peeking in the oven on his cakes. " Okay, so these cakes are gonna be hot when dey come outta da oven. I need some sort of cream with them. They need ta be able ta stand up to da heat, so I decide to make a pastry cream. I start with the egg yolks and sugar and wisk dem together. Then I wisk in a little hot milk. I want this cream to be nice and thick, so I put it in da blast chiller. Now, I see Bakura. He keeps glancin at the clock. I think he's worried about the time for some reason. Maybe his pastry isn't getting done? Nah, that's not it. It must be dat sauce he's workin with."

Bakura is furiously mixing his sauce and muttering what sounds like, 'Ra-damned ingredients won't mix.' Over at the judges table, Tristan notes his strange behavior, "Bakura's kind of talking to himself over their at the stoves."

Mai nods, "I'm sensing some major urgency going on over there. I don't think his sauce is going along well at all, and we're on the final minutes of the final round. He better pull things together and fast."

Gruffly, Seto muses, " It's strange how different their cooking styles are. I mean Joey is staying at his station the majority of the time, showing a suprising amout of efficiency while Bakura is all over the place. He keeps running back and forth between the kitchen and the pantry and the fridge. He seems subtly, but noticeably worked up this round. Which, personally, I find peculiar; Bakura's not one to wear his emotion on his sleeve."

Tristan nods then after a glance at the clock turns to the contestants, "Alright chefs, we are at the five minute mark."

Off screen, Bakura shouts, " Mother of Isis!"

We cut over to Joey, "Yeah, my short cakes.. They ain't bakin' like I want em' to. I crank the oven up, but I'm very concerned they won't be done in time. While the shortcakes are in the oven, I decide to make another simple cream. I just poured it in a bowl and whip it up."

Bakura laughs evilly as we cut over to him, " Finally! The ingredients in my sauce mixed together. It took longer than I'd expected, but it's done. I tasted it: it's excellent, nice and thick. So, I go and check on my Baklava. Unfortunatly, I left it unwatched for too long. A little bit of it is burnt. As quickly as possible, I pull it out of the oven."

Tristan once again breaks in, suprising us all because the time skips are becoming more frequent, "Two minutes left on the clock."

Our contestants begin plating their dishes. Obviously still upset about burning his dish, Bakura grits his teeth as he cuts four triangular pieces and places them on a small plate. Then, he begins to drizzle his sauce over them. Joey is getting the componants of his dish together.

Joey says, " I took my cakes outta the oven, and it's really dry. But, there's nothing I can do about it, so I run over and grab my cream out of the blast chiller. And, mix in some chocolate peanuts. I'm not sure how all of these elements are going to work together, but I have ta get something on the plate."

As Tristan counts down from ten, Bakura and Joey struggle with the last few touches on their dishes. Joey drizzles his sauce in a criss cross pattern atop his short cakes while Bakura adds a dusting of powdered sugar to the top of his Baklava. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. Times up. Step back."

They both comply, and the camera switches between shots of their faces. Joey wears a silly grin- per usual, and Bakura smirks evilly, and we hear his voice, "I look at my Baklava. Aside from a few burnt spots, it looks perfect."

Joey muses on his dish, "I see my dish. And I think' This is good enough to win ten-thousand dollars."

"What we see here is what the judges are getting for desert." Tristan informs them seriously. Bakura snorts, but remains silent. Tristan beckons them over with a wave, and they both make their way over. "Alright, Chefs, in this round, you were challenged to make an oustanding dessert using : white balsamic vinegar, chocolate covered peanuts, dried cranberries, and masa harina. -He gestures Joey forward- Chef Joey."

Joey grins from ear to ear, "Alright judges, I got the ten-thousand dollar dessert right here. I made ya a masahanioha short cake." He scratches his head. "That doesn't sound quite right."

Tristan theorizes, "Um, I think you meant to say masa harina."

Joey nods, "Oh yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I made a short cake with dried cranberry and blueberry sauce and a pastry cream that's mixed with the chocolate covered peanuts."

Filling in some left over time, Tristan implores, " So, tell us Joey, what are you going to do with the ten-thousand if you win as unlikely as that is."

Joey shakes his fist at Tristan, "Tristan! Don't make me knock your block off!"

Tristan waves him off dismissively, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I asked a question."

Realizing this, Joey gives in, " Oh yeah. Um," He tilts his head to the side. "I'm not really sure. " He grins from ear to ear. "I'll probably buy me and Serenity something. Like a car, or- Wait! I can get some new Duel Monster's cards!"

They all sweat drop.

Mai looks up from the short cake, "This short cake is ... delicious! It's fresh. It crumbles just the right way, and I like that you baked it. That's ambitious."

Marik agrees, " I love the berry sauce. You put the vinegar in it, and I think that the vinegar, the blueberry, the cranberry, and all the other spices went very well together. The only problem I have is the whipping cream. Is there any real reason you needed to have two different creams on there?"

"Yeah, I thought it was a bit too sweet. I think it was all a bit too much." Seto says.

Bakura smirks evilly.

Seriously, Mai asks, "Do you think you won today?"

Uncomprehendingly, Joey bellows, " Um, yeah of course I did! There was never any doubt!"

Tristan gestures him to step back, "All right, man, that's enough. Er, I mean, thank you, Chef Joey." Joey steps back, and Tristan gestures to Bakura. "Chef Ry- er- Bakura, please, show us what you have."

As Bakura speaks, the camera cuts to a shot of his dish, " I've made for you all a traditional Egyptian dish called Baklava. Marik you should be familiar with this."

Marik nods, "I am indeed."

Continueing, Bakura states," However, I changed a few things. I added cranberries, chocolate, and the vinegar to the sauce. And I used the the peanuts as a substitute for pecans."

Tristan drawls, "So Bakura, I heard that they already asked Ryou what he would do with the money if he won, but we didn't ask you. So, what will you do if you win the competition."

" I believe you mean when I win. Regardless, I plan to use it for my plans." Bakura says criptically.

Trist prods him for more infromation, "What plans?"

"Mind your own business!" Bakura snaps.

Tristan holds his hands up in surrender, "Alright man, just calm down, no big deal. Anyways, judges. What do you think of this dish."

Marik starts them off, "I like it. It reminds me of home. Although my piece was a little burnt in places." He pauses, waiting for an apology as per usual, but none is forthcoming. "I'm also a little adverse to the way the vinegar worked in this dish, or in actuality, didn't work."

Bakura scowls at them and grunts. Seto nods, "Mine is burnt as well, but I like the flavors. It's sweat and flaky and just overall good."

Mai shrugs, " Personally, I love it. I could eat it all day! It's a little crispy, but personnally, I like a good crunch although I think my companions dishes were more than a little crispy. Well, since I asked Joey, it's only fair to ask you too: Do you think you'll win this competition?"

Incredulous, Bakura raises an eyebrow, "Seriously?" She nods. "Well, allow me to answer your question with one of my own. Was there ever any doubt?"

Tristan sounds slightly pained as he speaks to them, " Well. Thank you chef Bakura. Chefs, you two certaintly haven't made things easy for our judges. They will now have to go through a decision making process, involving all three courses of your meals. Thank you."

Tristan gestures for them to leave, and they do, making their way to the little interview. The camera cuts to them. Joey attempts to have conversation with Bakura, "Soooooo..."

"Shut up."

Joey raises his hands, "Right. Doing the shutting of the up now."

Back to the judges, As they talk about our two contestants, their pictures pop up at the bottom of the screen.

Marik begins, "With Ryo-er, Bakura- I do think that there was alot more technique displayed than with Chef Joey."

Begrudgingly, Seto nods, "Joey baked a text book short cake. It was crumbly it had all the right textures, but it was really cakey. And then he made garnishes for it."

"I liked the way he used the cranberries, and I think he used just the right amout of balsamic vinegar. So that it wasn't over powering, but that extra whipping cream he put on top of the regular cream, I feel like that really took away from the dessert as a whole." Marik explains.

Mai breaks in, "Changing the subject, I thought Bakura's baklava was really good. He was really thinking outside the box with those flavors. It was really sweet."

Marik agrees, "Yes, I loved it. Then again it was from my homeland. However, I wasn't all that thrilled about the changes he made."

Seto says, "I thought the cranberries and vinegar really overtook the flavors of that dish. I almost cringed at the tartness of it all. Flavor wise, I'm leaning towards ... You know what.. I think I'm not going to choose." His eye brow twitches.

To the camera, Mai whispers, "That's Kaiba-speak for 'I liked Joey's dish best.'" Seto growls at her, but doesn't refute her claims. " Though, I do agree. Flavor wise, I liked Joey's best. In the appetizer round, he gave us those delicious scallops and that salad.

"I didn't get any dressing." Seto says.

Marik sighs, " You're never going to let that go are you?"

Mai grins, " If this were anything else, I'd say your being stupid, but this _is _a competition. We can't just let something like that slide."

Marik nods, " Mmm, I suppose you're right. On the other hand, we have Ryou. He gave us those delicious fried scallops."

"At the same time, those beans were really undercooked. It was like chewing on marbles." Seto wrinkles his nose.

Marik shakes his head, "I still disagree. I thought it was delicious."

They lapse into an awkward silence. Since no one answered him, Marik grumbles to himself.

Mai finally breaks it, "Not to cause problems, but I was with Seto on that one. They were undercooked. In that second course though, Ryou's chicken really shined."

Seto agrees, "True, his flavor was alot better than Joey's, but we had that same problem with the cooking. The lentils were underdone."

Mai continues, "I liked that he did the chicken two ways. Doing that tequila-lime-butter poach was really good. It was all really good."

"I thought that Joey's chicken was good, not great but good.. And, he really stepped up his presentation compared to the first round." Marik notes.

Seto frowns, "Those carrots did not go well with the cheese at all. I just didn't like it."

" Yes," Mai concedes, " the sweetness from the carrots really clashed with that other flavor in the cheese, and not in the good way."

"I was just happy his dish didn't have lentils in it." Marik states.

Tristan looks at his watch and realizes that they are running out of air time, " But can you choose between, chef Ry-Bakura- and chef Joey?"

"I think we can." Seto nods, and the other two give their conformation as well.

" Alright. Let's bring our competitors back in." Tristan says.

Hands clasped behind their backs, Joey and Bakura walk back in, or in Bakura's case, stalks. They stand in front of the judges table. Although Bakura is unreadible and seemingly devoid of emotion besides a smirk, Joey looks slightly nervous. The music flairs dramatically as the camera jumps between shots of Joey, Bakura, Tristan, Mai, Seto, and Marik's faces. The camera cuts to Bakura's interview room. "I started off weak. Well, not me; it was Ryou. Regardless, he started off weak in this competition. But, since I was here to take over, we got better. Much better, and I have no doubt that I will be victorious. That fool Joey has no idea what he's dealing with. He is an idiot."

Joey is slightly more humble in his interview room than Bakura, " Bakura and Ryou are great chefs, but I think I got this one in the bag. I feel good about everything I made today, and I know my little sister is proud of how far I've come even if I do get sent home with nothin."

Back in the dining room, Tristan states more than asks, " So, whose dish is on the chopping block."

He freezes just before he takes of the lid. Furious, Seto lashes out, "What, is there some kind of code between you guys?! Take of the damn lid! I have things to do, so just do it."

Tristan shrugs, "Fine. It doesn't matter to me."

The tension builds as he slowly removes the lid. Once it is removed, we see Bakura's dish on the chopping block. His eye begins twitching, " What?!" He turns to Joey. "Congradulations, fool. It seems that the judges have taken pity on you."

Joey goes on the defensive, "Hey! Just own up. You lost."

Attempting to steer them back on track, Tristan speaks, "Chef Ryou and Bakura, you have been chopped."

Bakura rolls his eyes, " I already guessed that seeing as my dish is on what you have labeled, 'the chopping block.'"

Tristan blushes, ignoring the comment, " Ehem, Judges?"

Marik opts to explain, "We had a very difficult time coming up with a decision. I mean the bean salad Ryou made was delicious, and so was your baklava. Our mouthes are still watering just thinking about it."

Mai continues for him, " But what really worked for chef Joey was that his fearlessness just really came out on the plate. We appreciated your simplistic approach, but simplistic didn't do it for us."

"Simplistic? I made baklava! An Egyptian dessert." Bakura growls, outraged.

The judges glance around the room awkwardly. Seto is the first to recover, "So, for those reasons, we had to chop you."

"All in all though, great performance." Tristan adds.

Bakura smiles unsettlingly, "Of course, I thank you all for such a _wonderful_ opportunity." He stalks out of the room.

Joey is the first to speak, "Sometin ain't right. He took that way to well..."

The camera cuts to the hall where Bakura is leaving. " It was just a cooking competition. I'm upset over loosing sure. It was... unexpected and very upsetting, but there is more to life than food. More important things to be done. More important people to kill."

He leaves the building and we don't see him anymore, so the camera cuts back to the judges room. "So that means, chef Joey, that you are our next chopped champion. Hey are you crying?" Tristan asks, pointing at Joey.

Joey tears up, and though he tries to hide it, we see it clearly, "I'm not crying; I'm just so happy that I won."

Everyone but Seto applauds him.

" Don't let this get your confidence up, mutt. You're still a bad duelist." Joey shakes his fist at Kaiba as he stands up.-"Now, I've had enough of cooking and this show. Come on, Mokuba, we're leaving."

Mokuba runs in from the interview room. "Sure thing, Seto."

They walk out the door.

Joey squwaks, "Nyah! Where did he come from?"

Dismissively, Mai waves, "Don't let him get to you, Joey. You did a really good job."

Joey grins at her, "Thanks Mai! That means alot!" The camera cuts to his interview room. "Wow! I, me, Joey Wheeler, am a chopped champion! Alright man. Dat's awesome! I don't care what that jerk Kaiba said. I proved to myself and everyone else that I am good at somethin.' No ones gonna ever bring me down!"

The screen fades to black, and the credits role.

_Let it be known that later that night, Joey's money was stolen by some unknown force. _

_On a completely unrelated note, Ryou won ten-thousand dollars on a scratch off. _

_Yami and Téa lived happily ever after._

_Pegasus created new cards, making even more money. He also broke the guiness book of world record's record for tasting the most different kinds of wine._

_Tristan went on to host the Iron Chef when their usual host, Duke Devilin, was unable to make it._

_Marik moved back to Egypt in order to avoid the bad publicity he recieved due to his hatred of lentils._

_Mai uped the size of her implants... again. It scares us all to know that they can get bigger..._

_Seto hosted another duel monster's tournemet, trying to get past the cooking show and on to better pastures._

_Mokuba is still happily following Seto around._

_And Batman is still the God-damned Batman._

**_Fin._**

* * *

**SO! There you have it! Thanks to everyone who read this! And a super special awesome thanks to everyone who reviewed! YOU guys are awesome! **

**Even though I'm finished with this story. Review. And also go check out my other stories. Those are alot more serious than this one. And I plan to start a few more as soon as I finish my long chaptered fic, so be on the look out for those. **

**Thanks again.**

**SEE YA!**

**ONWARD!**

**-Alyssa**


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